Prolouge:
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Taranto-March 11, 1999

"Mama! Mama!" shouted Enzo as he ran back to his small concrete house, built on a graqe plantation "Mama! The Army men came through the big city!"

Enzo was only 3 years old at the time, he didn't know what was going on, what was about to happen in the coming years.

"What?" said his mother, Mia, with a sense of fear in her voice

"The big army men with their guns were walking through the city! Alfonso and daddy saw them!" he said. Alfonso, his older brother at 16, and his father, Arturo, behind Enzo.

"Mia, the Italians are gearing up for war, remember that thing with Greece? Well its not going to end without intervention with the UN or a all out war." Arturo said, still in shock.

"Arturo, what if...." Arturo knew what Mia meant

"I'm with the 'Workers Union', I can't get conscripted without enlisting." Arturo said as Mia gave a sigh of relief. Lest she loose another family member to war.
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Moscow-March 18th, 1999

The President of the Soviet Union, Dimitri Mihaylov, and his Prime Minister, Mikhail Orlov, arrived in the Red Square of Moscow, and the President delivered a speech for the crowd of thousands below him.

"Good Morning my fellow Russians! We are gathered here today to account what is happening around the world, and our motherland's position! The Italian Conflict with Greece has gone far unchecked, we have sent a entire corps of men down into Greece to defend the capital of the Country, we cannot let the Italians go around conquering nations! In the East the Japanese are conquering islands with fierce morale, men, and death. We condemn these actions, if these continue, the Soviet Union will have no other choice but to take Military action against the Japanese Empire. Today, at home, we prosper with Foreign companies and devoted Citizens. I, and my friend, Mikhail, and all here in the government thank you for your support of our gracious nation!"
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Constructive criticize welcome, this is a far cry for Fallout, this will bind together plot holes from before the war.

Chapter One:


United Nations Building-New York City-March 19,1999

"Russia will Pro this resolution." said the ambassador to Russia in the UN building

"Good." said Brian Miles, the UN Secretary General "That is 7 Pro, 2 Abstains for a No-Fly Zone over Italy. Resolution 1950 is passed"

Claps roared in the UN building, the resolution was finally passed.
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Over the Ionian Sea-March 19th 1999

Fifty squadrons of C-17s flew to Greece, their objective was the city of Sparti, which was the third largest city in Greece. Men, Tanks, Supplies, and anything needed for a airborne invasion were in those planes. The night was pitch black, they knew that the Greeks had Anti Air scattered all over their coasts, but never inland. They were wrong. Anti Air rockets and guns lit up the night. Spot lights lit up, showing the AA guns the planes. Caporale Marco Romano was in a plane that was filled with only Paratroopers, it took minor damage as the paratroopers jumped out. They pulled their parachutes as the plane went down, they landed in a small forest area, they spotted an AA complex, they knew, as anyone would, that digression was the better part of valor. There were about 40 men total in the small group of the paratroopers, the rest, scattered around Sparti and other southern Greek towns. The Officer carried a Thompson, whilst the squad carried a assortment of bolt action rifles. Most countries other than England, Russia, China, Japan, France, Canada, and the US carried bolt action rifles and maybe assault rifles. The group of men came across a cottage, they entered it, it seemed abandoned. They were wrong, a family of a man, a woman, two girls, and a boy were hidden in the basemant. They heard the footsteps of the Italian Paratroopers in the Kitchen, living room, and dining room. Marco finally decided to check the basemant, with three others he proceeded down to the basemant, he was shocked to see the family. The man seemed about 40, the woman about 30, the two girls 14 and 16 respectfully, and the boy at the most, 13. He called for his squad leader, he walked over, pulled out a pistol, and told Marco to execute them, Marco refused, and the squad leader did it himself, killing the family. Marco never forgot the scared faces of the Greek Family. They haunted him to the day he died.

An interesting timeline, but some rather major issues....

1) Gorby must have done a number on the USSR during his term, since somehow the Soviet Union now has a president (which even in our timeline only happened in 1990). Instead, he should be referred to as the General Secretary.

2) Glasnost and Perestroika must have gone into full effect for foreign companies to be operating in the USSR??

3) Soviet intervention into a war between two NATO nations?

4) Even if there’s no NATO in your timeline, I doubt that the US/UK & CAN would stand idly by and let the Soviet Union simply send in “aid”. Instead, the first thing that would hit the wire services would be threats of total nuclear destruction, and US, CAN & UK troops going on high alert in West Germany.

5) Empire of Japan?

Though I’ll credit this with being a very creative story, it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Also, the Fallout timeline does diverge post WW2 (and with that being said, I highly doubt the United States would just let Japan remilitarize and try to rebuild its empire).

1) Oh, sorry, i was reading off of Wikipedia, i saw President, not General Secretary.

2)Yes

3)Greece is close to their border

4)I'm writing up a post having the US/UK/CAN in Greece, as well as the No-Fly-Zone over Italy

5) Well, not as much as a empire as a unmonitored war monger state, since its not harming allies or the US it self, the US isn't doing anything, since in my perspective, Japan basically has Korea (Again, in Fallout, this was a minor country), Indochina, most of the coast of China, and Taiwan.

I'll leave America to be the history buff, I'll just focus a little bit on the grammar/ story structure.

I've mentioned some stuff before on your previous fanfics, and excuse me if I get bored of repeating myself. I just going to offer a couple little suggestions, but I really don't expect you to take any notice, their kind of nitpicky anyway.

1.) A comma instead of a period in dialogue when denoting who said what. Excludes "!" and "?"

"I know," she said.

2.) Write out the numbers one through ten.

"You've got three seconds!"

3.) Detail. Right now it reads like some kind of journalist report. If you ever want character depth, emotional value, stuff like that, then detail is needed. Also not only will proved an image of your head of what you want us to see, making the story more enjoyable and easier to read, it can also help with technical terms that other may not know. For example:


Let's say I didn't know what a C-17 or how big fifty squadrons really is.

The roar of the C-17's engines were deafening, the silence of the night lay shattered. The C-17's were aircraft owned by the U.S. Airforce, the plans themselves had no means of attack or defense, but their danger lay in what they carried. Their large, black dots collected on the horizion, speeding quickly to the ever approaching outline of the Greece coastline. As they got closer the first black dot turn to three, than twelve, then fifty, multiplying at an alarming rate, pretty soon seven hundred C-17's were fast approaching.

That seems good doesn't it? Now the reader doesn't have to know what a C-17 is or how many planes fifty squadrons mean. You don't want your readers to too much guess work. At any rate, that's all I have for now. Take it or leave it, but don't give up.

Good Luck.

P.S. I had to look up squadron to see how many planes compose one. It varies, but twelve is apparently a low number. So either I'm misinformed or that's a lot of C-17's. Like...Seven Hundred...

Greek Front Line-April 1, 1999

The smell of mud filled the morning air. Greek, American, British, and Russian troops woke up, it was far from 'April Fools', they heard scout reports that the Italians were nearing Athens at a alarming speed. Greek men, armed with what ever they could get their hands on, Pitchforks, swords, bolt action weapons, pistols, even pipes, their morale was unfazed. The Americans and British were armed with M-16's and SA80s. The Russians were armed with AK-74s. Italians wielded G-36s and whatever else they could find in the war ravaged country side of Greece.
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American Home-Philadelphia-April 1, 1999

The Evans family gathered infront of a TV. Their President, http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/27/jfkcuba2b.jpg, was giving a speech

My fellow Americans, this late TV speech is given in the light of events in Greece. The US, in conjunction with the UN resolution, has sent Fighters to combat any Italian forces headed to Greece, or any Balkan States. We have also sent in men to defend the Capital of Greece, as has the United Kingdom, the Soviet Union, and the French are sending Air Support in. Me, and the government of The United States, The United Kingdom, and the United Socialist Soviet Republic have condemned the actions Italians have been committing in foreign soil. The Greeks will prevail, if we can unite, we can win. This is your President, Alexander Miller, signing off for now.

It's pretty short and still reading like someone summarizing a documentary, since this is obviously going to be focused on Wars and Battles you might want to add more gritty detail, focusing maybe on a specific troop. But if your going for something that spans years over many battles and brief overview of the whole war. Than I still focus on the major characters, revealing their background why their fighting and such, to add character development.

For this story I would highly recommend reading Black Hawk Down. The writer was acutally a journalist and he made the book interesting(while keeping to facts). His story reminds me of yours, well vaguely. But it's the closet thing I have, I would recommend looking through it so you can see how he writes war stories.

I think you should spend a few more installments illustrating the commencing of WWIII, but then you should zoom in to actual characters. Oh, and shout out to Philly, my home town, of course.

Im closing this Fan Fiction, sorry for all the fans of this, It's really hard to make a plot all your own.