» Tue May 17, 2011 8:45 am
Worst Case Scenario: You wake up in a cave, naked, with Martins ghost, telling you that you are the rightful Emperor of Tamriel. But first, you must collect four items in order to create a portal to the Imperial City to stake your claim, because the door on the way out of the cave says [INACCESSIBLE]. But the items which you need to find are inside the cave somewhere. The items are: a severed leg, and you are the only body in the cave, living or dead, and when you sever it you are stuck with 1 Athletics and 1 Acrobatics, an apple, the cave has no sign of any apples by the looks of it, but you eventually find one after taking three hours real time getting to the bottom of the cave with your one leg, and taking a further six hours tto get back up as it turns out to be an apple of burden, which has the weight of a full daedric armor set, the heart of Sheogorath, you are bewildered as to how to get this but suddenly Sheogorath teleports to you and has a heart attack and dies, letting you get his heart, and finally the head of the adoring fan, and then suddenly he comes crashing through the roof of the cave shouting "By Azura! By Azura! By Azura! Its the Grand Champion! And he is naked! JACKPOT!", you enjoy stuffing his mouth with sand and strangling him and laugh at his attempts to break free, all the while Martin shouting "MAKE HIM SUFFER! MAKE HIM SUFFER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" You finally sever his head with your Iron Dagger and place it on a plate and light all the candles that surround it putting the other items with it, as you enter the portal the adoring fan respawns and jumps onto you. When you come out the other side of the portal you and the Adoring Fan are like Siamese twins. And you finnd out that he is actually a Daedric Prince and has opened portals in the city, spewing out thousands of adoring fans. The game installs software that doesnt let you exit the game or turn off your computer, even by the plug socket. You kill yourself. All the while the game continues. Chanting By Azura, By Azura, By Azura, By Azura...