Another "start as a prisoner for unkown crimes" starting. Bethesda need to come up with a new starting.

Just curious, but why does everyone hate the idea of multiplayer so much? I am not for it, but I would take it over Mel Gibson any day.

I would play that.

It is odd. Half of these games don't sound too bad...

PoolCloser, that was awesome. I was laughing as I read that.

My worst TESV Scenario:

After hitting new game, the player sees a wonderful cutscene. As it rolls by, the player sees memorable events, with a short description of each. After seeing the final (which would be the Oblivion Crisis), the player begins to recognize the voice. As the voice starts to tell of the current events of Tamriel, the player, in horror, realizes who it is.

"By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!" proclaims the Adoring Fan, "Golly, you must be new here!" As the player "wakes up," he notices that the Adoring Fan is standing, creepily, over him in a jail cell. The Adoring Fan was watching the player sleep, all the while licking his deformed, fleshy lips. "If you didn't notice, we are in jail," proclaims the Adoring Fan, "but, luckily, I have just the thing to get us out!"

A group of Cliff Racers appear outside of your jail cell, and proceed to smash through the wall, freeing you. Sadly, as they fling themselves against the wall, they start to screech. After losing all hearing, you and the Adoring Fan escape.

As you progress through the game, you are constantly followed by the Adoring Fan and a pack of Cliff Racers. None of them can die, all are constantly making noise. You can't sneak, because the Adoring Fan ruins any chance of breaking and entering by alerting the guards with an ear-splitting "By Azura, you are breaking into *enter NPC name*'s house! Guards, Guards, Guards!" The Adoring Fan and Cliff Racers constantly jump in front of your attacks, preventing you from damaging any enemy. Then, when you have hit them more than one time, they turn around and one-hit-kill you.

And, if you somehow manage to increase a skill, you can not sleep to level, as the Adoring Fan is a vampire, and would drain you of all of your blood should you fall asleep.

That would be the worst thing for me.

Or if every game so far was a dream.

TES V is set 4000 years in the future. Tamriel is now more technologically advanced than our own world. The game starts out in Solitude in Skyrim, which is now a city that looks exactly like New York. You start off as an Argonian detective, but you look like an Imperial because of the forced plastic surgery the Empire makes all of the beast races get when they reach advlthood. You go into work one day and get handed a huge case file by the Chief, a talking, middle-aged Mudcrab. He tells you that he's given you the case after the last guy who tried to investigate it was killed by the Dark Brotherhood, a motorcycle gang made up entirely of goth teenagers. He says that the last guy uncovered that the Dark Brotherhood stole an Elder Scroll and plans to cover it in mascara, completely screwing up history and altering the present in potentially horrible ways. It is up to you, and your partner, a short-statured Bosmer nicknamed "The Adoring Fan" around the office because of how much he admires your detective skills, to stop them before it's too late.

You suffer through the long and insufferably cheerful and cartoony intro until character creation, and then find that the ONLY choice is to play "Barney the Purple Guar". For some annoying reason, the theme song fits the character perfectly, as the childrens' song has been licensed by Bethesda. The game begins, and you find that you have exactly one weapon skill, which you cannot use because that would be "politically incorrect", and a single spell which creates a bright flash of light but has no effect on the game otherwise. You can Sneak if you wish, but there's nobody to see you. The entire main (and only) quest consists of maneuvering around the room with a neatly furnished table and a chair (which is sittable), and pressing a big red button labelled "I Win". There is an extensive in-game tutorial to show you how to press the big red button. Your journal will include regular entries along the lines of: "You step closer to the "I Win" button", or "You wander away from the button". Dialog has been "streamlined" to the point where there isn't any, but it's 100% voiced. Once you press the button, a cutscene appears, with your character clapping its hands and singing the "Barney" themesong, while colorful balloons and paper confetti and streamers fall from above. Obviously, the game has been designed to appeal to a much broader audience, and is available on virtually every game machine known to mankind (including the wii). It's also obvious that Bethesda's marketing department is expecting unprecedented sales by adjusting the Elder Scrolls series to be more "accessable to the masses". Reviews include such glowing praise as "The furnishings on the table are incredibly rendered in amazing detail, with full reflection mapping", and "NPC animations would be absolutely flawless and lifelike if there were any NPCs".

_________ or _________

Somehow, in my weirdest imaginings, I can also picture TES V starting out with the screen zooming in on an icy Skyrim wasteland amid a driving blizzard and the howling of the wind, and then the music begins: Frank Zappa's little number about "yellow snow" from the "Apostrophe" album. I think I'd lose bladder control over that one.

TES V: Back to the Future with Michael J. Fox. You have to help a battlemage gather ingredients to help make a potion that cures Parkinson's Disease.

You get a great cinematic trailer like the screens from Oblivion, and immediately upon clicking new game, the head of the Adoring Fan shows up, "By Azura by Azura by Azura!!!!", ending with a screech and juxtaposed by Fargoth's face, laughing at you--

And then the Blue Screen of Death with the sound of Laughter and "By Azura!" playing constantly. Pressing Alt Cntrl Del makes your computer spontaneously overheat and melts your computer's insides to the sound of "Your on your honor!!".

Game over.

Just a tough of the Adoring fan: The creators did him in the aspect of being a npc that everyone would hate? or they didnt know the consecuences when they created him? even before knowing that all of the internet hated him, i did it myself, when playing it, so im interested if his creation was in purpose to made everyone crazy about this little crapkid.

Another "start as a prisoner for unkown crimes" starting. Bethesda need to come up with a new starting.

The worse TES V scenario is the devs secretly putting in a self destruct sequence that blows up any computer or console once the TES V logo appears on the screen

Tes:V is dumbed down to the extreme. Ie: There are three types of character "Fighter" "Wizard" and "Stealth" You cna only pick these archtypes, and automatically get a race with them "Nord" "Elf" and "Stealth" respectivly. There are only two areas in the game, a "town" with on house, and no interior, and a field outside the "town". In the "town" there is one npc, he is imperial, the only one in the game. He sells 3 weapons, 2 armour sets and one spell. The weapons: "Big Sword (2 Hander), "Sword (One hander)" and "Stealth (?)" Unfortunately, the game crashes if you buy anything but "Sword".

The spell he sells is "Fireball", it is the only spell in the game, it can be cast infinately, as Magicka no longer exists, being too complicated for today's audiences.

I mentioned before that the imperial sells armour too. This comes in two types, you can only buy full suits, as buying gloves/boots/pauldrons is too complicated. Th two types are "Heavy" and "Stealth". Ther is no mage armour, they must make do with nothing.

After you have spent your starter money (designed so you cna only buy one weapon/armour, you venture forth into tamriel.

Tamriel is made up of a square field with cliffs on all four sides. The field is 200km squared, one of the biggest gameworlds ever created. It is entirely flat.

There is only one type of enemy, Deer. Deer come in two types, "Deer" and "Stealth" the "Stealth" deer are deers without models, thus making them invisible.

If you cross the 200km field, without dying by the hands of Stealth Deer, you will find a ruined fort. The fort is circular, with one door. It is the only functional door in the game. Inside, are 300 deer in a room. If your computer doesn't crash at the sight of 300 deer, you beat the game. Would you liek to restart and continue your adventure?

Another "start as a prisoner for unkown crimes" starting. Bethesda need to come up with a new starting.

Come on guys use your imagination. You could have been imprisoned for just about anything in the setting that Cyrodiil is in. The guard you were talking to could have had a power trip and decided to impress his buddies and imprisoned you. He could have mistaken ed you for somebody who just committed a crime and didn't listen to your "It wasn't me" claim. Or you could have just been a righteous person and somebody powerful envied you and had you put in jail (just like Jesus Christ, except they just killed him instead of jail).

Use your imagination guys! It's not Bethesdas fault you couldn't roleplay that prison!

The game takes place in Skyrim, but the devs thought that everyone wanted an expansion of the expansion Bloodmoon. So essentially it is Bloodmoon with better graphics and they just rename Solstheim as Skyrim. Yeah that would svck.