In this thread we pretty much make up our worst nightmares about what TES V will be. Here's mine:

The game's opening cutscene starts out with Azura telling a tale of Tamriel's current situation and what has happened since the end of the 3rd era. Then, just as you eagerly await to put yourself into this world, the world turns to a smoky scene of a Khajiit with his head buried in a pile of Moon Sugar on a desk with Skooma pipes. "Oh man that was some strong stuff" He says as he slowly lifts his head and awakens from his strange fantasy world of Nirn with Elves, Men, and Lizard People.

Then, you hear a knock on the door and it crashes open and 3 more Khajiits with bats start wrecking the guy's house and searching for him. The main character, now revealed as Miaq the Liar, climbs through an air vent and escapes into what looks like a modern day city populated by Khajiits riding Giant Mudcrabs and Silt Striders as they go to their destinations. Then out of nowhere, an obilivion gate opens in the sky and hordes of Cliff Racers and Slaughterfish with Wings fly into the city and cause chaos and kill the population. Miaq picks up a phone and calls the police, but all he hears is "I saw a mudcrab by the water recently, nasty little creatures" on the other line.

As the Cliff Racers ravage the city, the words "The Elder Scrolls V" appears in the fiery smoke above the chaos.

Multiplayer.

Good one haha!

Well, i dont think that the opening you've made up is a nightmare, hell i'd love to see that in any game!
In any case i think the worst scenario would be that Uriel Septim showed in the intro speaking some like: "I was born 600 years ago...and the fires of " like some old crank telling his old stories to the kids haha.

it not existing

PoolCloser, that was awesome. I was laughing as I read that.

My worst TESV Scenario:

After hitting new game, the player sees a wonderful cutscene. As it rolls by, the player sees memorable events, with a short description of each. After seeing the final (which would be the Oblivion Crisis), the player begins to recognize the voice. As the voice starts to tell of the current events of Tamriel, the player, in horror, realizes who it is.

"By Azura, by Azura, by Azura!" proclaims the Adoring Fan, "Golly, you must be new here!" As the player "wakes up," he notices that the Adoring Fan is standing, creepily, over him in a jail cell. The Adoring Fan was watching the player sleep, all the while licking his deformed, fleshy lips. "If you didn't notice, we are in jail," proclaims the Adoring Fan, "but, luckily, I have just the thing to get us out!"

A group of Cliff Racers appear outside of your jail cell, and proceed to smash through the wall, freeing you. Sadly, as they fling themselves against the wall, they start to screech. After losing all hearing, you and the Adoring Fan escape.

As you progress through the game, you are constantly followed by the Adoring Fan and a pack of Cliff Racers. None of them can die, all are constantly making noise. You can't sneak, because the Adoring Fan ruins any chance of breaking and entering by alerting the guards with an ear-splitting "By Azura, you are breaking into *enter NPC name*'s house! Guards, Guards, Guards!" The Adoring Fan and Cliff Racers constantly jump in front of your attacks, preventing you from damaging any enemy. Then, when you have hit them more than one time, they turn around and one-hit-kill you.

And, if you somehow manage to increase a skill, you can not sleep to level, as the Adoring Fan is a vampire, and would drain you of all of your blood should you fall asleep.

That would be the worst thing for me.

Or if every game so far was a dream.

You wake to the sound of a helicopter landing on the moon, you're given an assault rifle and told to hunt down the dark fairies, with the companion the crocodile called Argon, and the kitty called Fluffiit.

Opening Scene right after you create your character...

You hear Azura's echoing voice as you see events roll by. The Eternal Champion slaying Jagar Tharn, the Hero of Daggerfall finding the Numidian, the Nerevarine slaying Dagoth Ur, and the Champion of Cyrodiil killing Mankar Cameron. Each wearing a hood and black robes that way you can't see there face.

"The Eternal Champion walked across Tamriel and gathered the pieces of the Staff of Chaos to save the Empire," she says at the Jagar Tharn part rolls by.

"The Hero of Daggerfall was sent to silence the long-dead king, but discovered so much more," as the Hero of Daggerfall found the Numidian.

"The Nerevarine was Nerevar reborn, born again to bring down the treacherous Tribunal," as the Dagoth Ur scene rolls by.

"The Champion of Cyrodiil saved Nirn from utter destruction by stopping Dagon," as the Champion kills Mankar.

"Your destiny awaits, ."

Then you exit a jail cell and talk to a jailor. He asks you about your sign, your name, your class, etc.

After that you're given a super-powerful item and told you must slay the evil demon bad guy and save Nirn!

A movie starts and you see azura then she says "kill the uber troll now or else he may wreck my garden and I'm to lazy to do it"then you appear in a giant garden and you see a troll that is one cm big and 1 cm across and he breaks a piece of grass after a few real time hours and then your hud appears and you attack him,he dies in one hit and then a big screen saying the end in big writing shows up.

The worse TES V scenario is the devs secretly putting in a self destruct sequence that blows up any computer or console once the TES V logo appears on the screen

I place the disk into my computer, eagerly waiting while the game installs.

When I start the game a cutscene begins, a dark ominous voice narrates a generic fantasy voice over while shots of fantasy scenes are shown, large medieval cities and open grasslands. As the camera pulls back words start to fade in as a title, when they are clear enough to read I see the words "TESV: Two Worlds". O_o

Stop. That alone would be hilariously tacky and overdramatic. Oh wait, that's the point. :rolleyes:

The game takes place in Skyrim, but the devs thought that everyone wanted an expansion of the expansion Bloodmoon. So essentially it is Bloodmoon with better graphics and they just rename Solstheim as Skyrim. Yeah that would svck.

I'm going to have to agree that multiplayer is my worst TESV nightmare.

No matter how wel done it is, it would always detract from the core, single-player experience.

Barring that, an excess amount of DLC that obviously should have been in the base game to begin with (ala Broken Steel).

My worst nightmare is simply getting a BSOD while first running ESV.

TES V is set 4000 years in the future. Tamriel is now more technologically advanced than our own world. The game starts out in Solitude in Skyrim, which is now a city that looks exactly like New York. You start off as an Argonian detective, but you look like an Imperial because of the forced plastic surgery the Empire makes all of the beast races get when they reach advlthood. You go into work one day and get handed a huge case file by the Chief, a talking, middle-aged Mudcrab. He tells you that he's given you the case after the last guy who tried to investigate it was killed by the Dark Brotherhood, a motorcycle gang made up entirely of goth teenagers. He says that the last guy uncovered that the Dark Brotherhood stole an Elder Scroll and plans to cover it in mascara, completely screwing up history and altering the present in potentially horrible ways. It is up to you, and your partner, a short-statured Bosmer nicknamed "The Adoring Fan" around the office because of how much he admires your detective skills, to stop them before it's too late.

You start the game, and the camera overlooks a city, where a thief runs out of a store carrying stolen goods. An Imperial Guard gives chase, and the camera follows. Finally, the thief runs himself/herself into a corner, and the guard approaches...
"STOP! YOU'VE VIOLATED THE LAW. PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE. YOUR STOLEN GOODS ARE NOW FORFEIT.

The Elder Scrolls V: Sload Tales in 2D

The game begins with an opening movie in which you see Akatosh giving a speech to a baby Molag Bal, baby Malacath, and baby Mehrunes Dagon. Then you hear the voice of Martin saying: "Wasn't much of a speech. Was it?"

Now Sanguine is dancing on the roof of the white gold tower with Runa from the House of Earthly Delights as "Master Of Puppets" plays loudly in the background. Sanguine then yells at the top of his lungs: "THIS IS THE AGE OF SLOOOOAAAADD!!! WHAT COLOR

WILL YOU BE?" Then a list of 5 colors comes up: Light Green - Brownish Green - Bluish Green - Brown - Dark Green

You must then select a color. After selecting a color you see a Sload on top of old smokey Dive Rock making slurping and snorting noises. You see he is eating a rotten carrot.

A message come up on screen saying that you can fast travel anywhere on the 1x1in map, play online with child molesters, attempt a "Sload Tale" offline or talk with Maiq the Liar who since the Oblivion crisis has become a business man and a complete cynic. He has

also received English lessons from Haskill and the ghost of Mankar Camoran; both of whom have the best vocabulary and English word pronunciation skills in Oblivion.

For the rest of the game you walk around the tiny island you start on and eat bugs while the new Maiq tells you he does not believe it.


The game ends when you have run out of topics to speak to Maiq about and eaten 20 bugs. (there are 6 topics in total)



And Pool Closer... That was the funniest thing i have read in these forums. :foodndrink:

After the apocalypse of The Infernal City all of Tamriel is left as a smoking desolate ruin. No more beautiful, verdant landscapes can be seen, only barren earth and ruined buildings which now cover the entire land for some reason, even in places where there were no buildings previously. The few remaining survivors are now faced with a horrible undead invasion. For no discernible reason zombies are everywhere, wandering the landscape in unstoppable hordes. The hero is a grizzled faceless, nameless warrior carrying on a desperate fight for survival. Though outnumbered, he is able to face and overcome the brain-eating masses with a mysterious Dwemer weapon which looks and functions an awful lot like a shotgun.

Multiplayer, guns, and duel wielding. (Though I suppose I could get used to duel wielding, I wouldn't be happy about it, though)

A cheesy beginning (like one described in the OP), after an obnoxious starting quest line (like the beginning one for DKs on WoW), you start by experiencing the terrain which is just snow, and then you go to the cities and all the citizens look like stick figures, and there are 3 different voices, then you go to a merchent and there are 5 different kinds of weapons, you finish the story line in 50 minutes and the guilds in 1 hour, than you explore and it is just snow and wolves. And at the end of the game there is a major dance party with characters from previous games like Dagoth Ur (like at the end of Slumdog Millionaire) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m1UWSD-FaA (

^
Followed by TES:V not existing at all, and Bethesda/Zenimax pushing ahead 100% into the MMO phase. Dear God. What a sad day.

my worst nightmare for TES V would be them holding your hand......if it played like oblivion i probably would sell it after 10 mins of gameplay.

The game starts, you walk out of a building after characterbcreation and the first thing you hear is, "I have a feeling, you and I are about to get really close". You look back to see a wood elf, with his face an inch from yours. You try to run away but realize that thousands of bosmer now encircle you. The all chant, "By Azura" over npand overnuntil you are completely enclosed.

Or if you play in 360, putting the game for the first time and getting a red ring of death when the Bethesda logo appears haha!

For a more constructive history...well lets see:
-The movie starts and you get to see some gorgeus scenery of Skyrim, beautiful landscapes and a harmonic music, then after 15 minutes Uriel Septim face appears suddenly covering the entire screen, with the same face it has in Oblivion, and it starts talking: "I've born 1380 years ago, and here i am...oh yeah cookies..i love them, what else i can achieve for if it wasnt for the smell of rats in the Imperial Catacombs? nothing! oh yeah..pardon me, my age its getting me to illusion worlds..as i was saying..." then a huge island (not Umbriel) falls on him and kills him again, and from the island, an entire army of hellish alien mutant ape-rats appears with blazing machineguns that uses vacuum cheese as ammo, then from the tower on top of it inside a throne with pink courtains and a jacuzzi full of molten lava where a Breton relaxes with a glass of Skooma, lies at the end of it the evil from the game: Ronald Mcdonald, with his powerful sword: the Dried Argonian Impaled on a Bronze Sword.

Then a commercial 89 minutes long of a new Weight Loser product cames and you think that the game will start soon. well, its the beggining! so when it finishes, a choice for your character is really appealing: you can only play as Uriel Septim, this time, with 20 puns per line in thy dialog, and an arsenal of weapons that could let Mcgyver as an novice.
You start in a prairie, in the middle of a war of two alien races, you see the dark sky breaking with UFOS, mariachis and some Sumo wrestlers on the air fighting, the choice you got is simply, get over it.

If it holds your hand...