...if it weren't for those damn meddling farm animals.

Dog, "Bark"

Riverwood Guard, "What's that boy, someone stole from a house on the edge of town"

Dog, "Bark"

Riverwood Guard, "Good boy. I will just tack this bounty up now"

---

Chicken, "Bawk"

Riverwood Guard, "What's that chicken? A menancing assassin came and killed someone with no human in sight, but you saw the whole thing?"

Chicken, "Bawk"

Riverwood Guard, "I'll just put out this bounty for that person now"

----

Cow, "Moo"

Riverwood Guard, "Oh someone killed a person and then stole from their house with no human in sight, but this cow and you came to tell me,"

Cow, "Moo"

Riverwood Guard, "Well that asshat now has a bounty"

I guess this explains why I get a bounty for killing farm animals in the different holds. They're really undercover agents for the local guards.

Oh my, it has gotten to the point where farm animals show more sentience than the Nords of today. May the Snake poison me.

Well, you know, they are Nords after all. Are you really surprised they aren't as smart as your average cow? Azura knows I'm not.

They used to rival the Altmer in the arcane... Once upon a time...

They shouldn't be doing this.

I remember before "Skyrim" was released the developers were discussing that they couldn't figure out how some crimes were being reported when there were no witnesses about.

They eventually discovered they were being reported by the Chickens.

This was fixed before the game was released.

Apparently not in my PS3 version.

No children around, no one around.

I kill someone and magically get a bounty. No one was around, I made sure because I reloaded twice, I looked around twice, etc.

Then I killed a dog, and it said Last Witness killed and my bounty disappeared.

That was probably before they invented meade.