Ok, so now that I have your attention, here is the question: If your spouse or significant other ballooned up to so high of a weight that they could no longer get up out of bed/sofa, would you be an enabler and continue to feed them whatever they wanted? Or would you put your foot down and say "Nope, if you can't get up, then you're going to eat what I give you, and what I'm giving you is tough love and a strict diet so you can regain your mobility"?

What brings this about is a show my wife likes to watch "My 600lb Life" about morbidly obese people who struggle to lose weight JUST so they can become slim enough to have gastric-bypass surgery done so they can REALLLLYY lose the weight. Tonight there was an episode on, and the wife of the guy in question(Some 900lb guy from Guatemala) was confronted about the guys weight, because he couldn't even get up out of bed, without a significant amount of help. She was asked how he kept gaining weight and she said "he's the one who wears the pants in the family, so I bring him what he wants". To me, that is an absolutely ludicrous thought process. Me and my wife both agree, if either of us somehow ballooned up to such a weight that we couldn't get up out of bed, the other would instantly(not that we would let either of us get that big anyways, but this is just a thought experiment) put the other on a super strict diet and force them to lose the weight, not enable them and continue to bring them food. We both ask the same question: How can you claim to love someone, and yet continue to let them kill themselves slowly, and even encourage that behavior by feeding them insane amounts of food. It's absolutely mind-boggling.

Now, oddly(sadly) enough, I don't come into this entirely ignorant, I have dealt with a fairly severe weight issue myself. Before I had my accident, I used to stay around 225lbs. I ate a lot, but I also worked a lot(12+ hours a day, lifting 50-150lb boxes constantly, all day long, so I burned off a lot of what I ate). After my accident, I lost the ability to work, but I kept the eating habits, and I very quickly, and almost without even noticing it, skyrocketed all the way up to 297lbs. The day I found out how heavy I was, was also the day I learned I had developed diabetes. Much like the people on these shows, my ability to move is severely limited due to my injury, however I didn't let that stop me. I took my food intake down for all meals by half, and in the case of lunch, literally 1/4 of what I used to eat(Breakfast used to be a pack of poptarts and 2 packs of snack cakes, or 4 bowls of cereal(big bowls), lunch was 2 sandwhiches and 2 ramen noodle packs, supper was god only knows how much protein, huge servings of mashed potatoes and some vegetable, and a MASSIVE bowl of ice cream for a late night snack. When I decided I had to lose the weight(and even now), my meals became: 2 eggs, 1 piece of toast, lunch would be a sandwhich, or a bowl of soup(either or, not both), supper is an appropriately sized portion of some protein and big serving of veggies).

I eventually lost(and have kept off for several years now) well over 100lbs(my weight hovers between 185-195), and I did it all without any significant form of exercise, so I do know where these people are coming from, and it still boggles my mind that they allow themselves to get where they are, and then their loved ones continue to support, allow, and even encourage their slow descent into death.

Alright, I went enough off course. The question remains: Would you enable your significant other/loved one, or would you be strict and say "No more, I won't allow you to do this to yourself anymore"?

I would try my best not to be an enabler while still looking after their health with some level of comfort remaining if possible. What you and your wife propose, the strict diet, is sensible, probably the best solution in my opinion. I would add at least some exercise in personally, mainly because I think it could do a lot for confidence. I don't really have too much to add on to that, because I pretty much agree entirely. Interesting thought to pose, though.

I would insist on some kind of exercise as well, even if it was just like arm curls with 5lb weights. A lot of these people on the show, they literally can't even get out of bed, they are stuck their 24/7, have to be sponge bathed, so it's understandable that they aren't getting up and walking, but yeah, something to get their blood flowing, coupled with the diet would be most ideal.

Can't wait to see what others have to say, it's an interesting topic(to me anyways). Do you give them the comfort of food, even if it's killing them, or do you give them tough love because you aren't ready for them to leave you behind, not when they can still fight for their life.

This is exactly what I would do.

If my significant other were to become overweight and refused or made no effort to improve themselves by going on a diet, I wouldn't be able to stand by and do nothing about it. I'd be very strict and help them in any way I could. I have a rather aggresive stance on this subject, because I really hate it when people don't take care of their bodies for any reason (really controversial, I know), so if it's someone I care about, I'd give them maximum tough love.

I'd keep them, that way when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I have time to get away while the undead get the feast of their (un)life.

But then you'll be responsible for creating the Heavy type zombie.

As long as I'm tucked safely away in a hidden bunker or secure myself somewhere, I'll regret nothing and be living through the apocalypse cool as a cucumber bro.