I have two kids. A 10 yr old girl and a 6 yr old boy. I'm devoted to them and extremely proud of them. I'm a soccer and hockey dad, and a Destination Imagination parent volunteer as well. (My ex doesn't get involved in any of their activities, sad to say. She's missing out on a lot.) My daughter will start to take college classes in advanced mathematics next year, in sixth grade! My son scored a 100% on his state aptitude test last week! (They do this once a semester, a leftover from the No Child Left Behind bs.)

I was pretty sure I would never have kids. But here they are, and it's fantastic. I love being a dad, mentor, friend to these wonderful people. They are hands-down the most fascinating people I have ever met.

Give it a few years and you will be useless to them and sent off to a retirement home even though you are nowhere near the age to go there.

Probably not.

While I'm open to the idea of getting married, I think children are just too big of an imposition. I admire those who, in not having kids, were blessed with a free life and have much more time to study and pursue their career and interests.

Plus, you get to be a lot more financial without kids. You also have more freedom of movement - whether it's the freedom to easily travel, move around between countries, or just the freedom to go for a beer without having a babysitter organizational nightmare.

So, to summarize:
- More time
- More freedom
- More money

Personally, i admire those who had that, and gave it up to raise children.

Why? :shrug: Not having kids doesn't actually hurt anyone.

I mean, if you said you can admire those who had all that, but gave it up to adopt, then I'd be with you. Those people are making a sacrifice to help a kid in need, so there's a kind of honor there to admire.

But what's so admirable about giving up a great life and career to make new babies? I mean, it's not helping anybody, it's not a good deed or noble sacrifice or anything of that sort.

Acquisition of personal wealth > creating life?

Not to me.

I create life every time I forget about the cheese in the back of the fridge.

There's lots of reasons. Sometimes accidents too (:P ). Fulfilment, settling down, or what have you. Part of it may even be the simple rhythm of life. Children depend upon parents, then grow into young advlts who dash out into the world and do crazy reckless things, who then get married and have children of their own, and end up becoming the parents themselves upon who the new child relies.

The thing about having kids, and I think everybody understands this on some level whether they're aware of it or not, is that children cause an immense psychological change in their parents. As soon as you have a child your entire world view and identity changes.

Not only that, but you suddenly have something in common with billions of other people. Suddenly you're not Zeno, or turns-the-page, or Steampunk...you're a Dad (or Mom as the case may be). Infact it might be said that "bad" parents are the ones who don't really change at all when they have children. Which isn't to say everything ends fullstop. You don't lose parts of yourself when you become a parent, but just end up adding some very new, very big parts.

While there are certainly sacrifices to be made, I think 'giving up a great life and career' is a bit of a stretch.

Not even necessary talking about wealth (although it's one factor). Most of the great philosophers (for example) never had children, instead devoting their lives to their research and producing great works of philosophy. Maybe some people can simply serve humankind better by devoting themselves to non-child-raising pursuits, and really what's so bad about that?



To me, that sounds awful. Not be Zeno anymore? Give up some of my uniqueness so I can have more in common with everyone else? That's just not important to me, I value a solid, unique identity that defines itself, rather than 'belonging' with everyone else.

Not saying there's anything wrong with the latter - if you value that kind of belonging, then go ahead. But each to his own - we're all allowed to value different things, right? :shrug:

Heh
We'll move so they can't find us!

I was in stealth mode at the zoo with them last weekend, observing their behavior so that a descison could be made about granting more freedoms. Alas, the primates were more mature. My chimps, not so much.

Especially for a father. The only think that really suffers is you can't move away to get a job elsewhere. Most people don't have a "great life and career" to begin with. Living through a daily trudge of work alone doeesn't sound very appealing without people to share it with.

Yeah sure. Not now though. I'm 20 years old but I do want at least 2 children in the future.

No

I'm not ready to give my freedom away. :mohawk:

Maybe when I'm in my thirties. Maybe.

Nah, I don't want kids. All the money you'd have to spend on their cages and little water bottles, and those wheels they love running in all the time. Just don't think I could afford it.

The closest thing to a kid that I have is my niece. She's 2 1/2 And sometimes I take care of her.

I would like to have kids some day, but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

So, why brooding about it?

Maybe it's a pun...you know...kids, brood.

You will afford it once you graduate and take over the world.

I want to have kids. I don't know how many yet, but I don't want a tiny family with like 3 or 4. I'm leaning more towards 6-8, though my mom says everything falls down after the 8th, so I'll probably go more towards 7, as I would like to preserve my body as much as possible. It wound up that way 'cause g-ranger wants at least 3 sons, and I said I want an equal amount of daughters (not that we can control it)... so there you go.

Most of all, I want as many kids as my husband and I can afford to take care of, time and money-wise. I hate hearing about those families with 12 kids and they're all poor. Not to be mean or anything, but if you can't afford contraception, you shouldn't be having six.

People think we're nuts for wanting kids, and I even see that in this thread. All I have to say is that I don't bash you about not wanting to have kids, so let me make up for the kids you're not having and have more of my own... I say that while laughing, so no one take offense.

Lol. Definitely there are times when I want to go on an axe-swinging rage. But I hold my tongue and count to ten. Honestly, my then-wife and I had such problems becoming pregnant, then when we finally did it, with a little help from MODERN MEDICINE, it was a joy. The more you wait for things to be "just right" in your life (financial, career, etc)... it will never happen.

Well in each of my uncle's photographs all I see is a really tight family. Heck, the practically had their own football (soccer) team. Wait, they did!

Want them? Not right now. Not for a while. After grad school, maybe. Though it can make things much harder.

However, if I don't have kids I WILL feel a bit irresponsible for not passing on my absolutely flawless genes.



Another thing I like to ponder about not having kids: If you don't have children, you have failed to do something that no one in your direct ancestry has failed to do for the last BILLION YEARS (or longer, depending on your definition of "having kids). Not that it really MATTERS, but it's fun to think about.

Yeah, we're gonna have boys-against-girls tournaments, haha. But what can you expect? Not to bring religion into this, but we're Mormons... we're known for that kinda stuff.

Mormons: Overpopulating Your World Since 1830.

EDIT: Sounds like a good idea, but I hear it's more fun the natural way, haha. I wouldn't mind adopting one or two--you know, get the kid out of the system while saving stress on my body.

:shrug: Control it by adopting 3 boys and 3 girls. Or in-vitro fertilization can be an option for choosing six now, I hear.