[Non-Smoker here] I once went into the plumbing section (of a large hardware store) looking for 'pipe-cleaners'. :facepalm:

When I almost rubbed my eye with acrylic (shavings?) on my fingers.
When I answerd, "Because its summer" after the maths teacher asked why there was more (or was it less?) lightning in January.
When I called a square and equalateral (spelling?) triangle. :facepalm: